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sweden
I was a little late to the Hozier party. I mean I loved Take Me To Church and I laughed at the dark forest prince memes and I even reblogged them, but I figured it was all kind of a tumblr exaggeration.
Then I listened to his album, wherein he sings about:
- decomposing in a field with his love and getting eaten by foxes
- being dug out of the dirt by his love, who he implores to kiss him “like real people do”, implying that neither of them are real people
- observing the world as an outsider (“happy to lie back, watch it burn and rust; we tried the world, good god it wasn’t for us”)
- rising from his grave to crawl home to his love
- “the bog man”
and I realized, no, he’s just Like That.
are you telling me all of those are real songs and not just aesthetics tumblr made up
Listen, I didn’t believe it either, but that’s absolutely what I’m telling you.
“Remember why you became a polytheist. Perhaps you prayed and Someone unexpected answered. Perhaps a Goddess tapped you on the shoulder and said “you’re mine.” Perhaps you realized that the world is better explained by many Gods of limited power and scope than by one all-powerful God and you decided that following Them was the best way to order your life. It’s hard to be spiritual when your roof is leaking. If your current situation has dampened your enthusiasm for the Gods, Their virtues, and Their work, it’s understandable. And usually, They understand too – They tend to have a longer and wider perspective than we do. But whatever your reason for becoming a polytheist, it was valid then and it’s still valid now.”
—
John Beckett
“Polytheism in Difficult Times“
(via
)
Nietzsche believed that you’ve gotta be able to think about suicide before you can move beyond wanting to kill yourself because only once you’ve accepted it as an option can you make the choice not to do it, and the alternative, to deny the urge and ignore it, would inevitably cause you to cave to the unaddressed desire you have for it.
And the dude was right.
The rogue’s gallery of psych students and junior practitioners on this hellsite have hijacked my post about not being mean to yourself to explain to people how actually what I’m talking about is cognitive-behavioral therapy, and how it involves disciplining yourself to never talk negatively about yourself and how it’s important to check with a therapist that you’re doing it correctly, and like, this is why I don’t trust and can’t stand these people.
Being your own friend is a holistic process, there aren’t exercises you can do or therapy methods you can apply, which is why most people relapse almost immediately after stopping CBT or DBT, because they haven’t actually made any progress in how they look out for themselves, they were merely thrust into a disciplinary regimen where they are taught to engage in habits which their therapist then holds them accountable to, and so, without that therapist, they fall apart again.
Not being mean to yourself doesn’t mean censoring self-deprecating humor, it doesn’t mean snapping a rubber band on your wrist when you have a negative thought, it means taking time to sit down and think about yourself as if you were another person, to really take stock of who you are from as objective a perspective as you can muster, and if you really want to grow, realizing that this person you see can’t grow if the person closest to them, which is you, spends all their time berating them and making them feel like shit.
Being friends with yourself is not a series of therapeutic exercises, it’s challenging yourself to evaluate why you’re a dick to yourself in a way you aren’t to other people, or maybe you are a dick to other people, and maybe you want to be a dick to yourself, which is goofy as fuck, but if you’re still suffering, maybe ask yourself why the fuck you want to be such a dick, the answers may surprise you.
That thing of “always avoid negative thoughts” actually does more harm than good, in a lot of cases. It can actually lead to a system where you pretty much scold and punish yourself for not thinking “right.”
It’s not a movie anybody wants, but probably the most faithful way of adapting Dracula’s epistolary format would be as a found footage movie.
I’d pay money for this.
The Count takes Jonathan’s handheld video camera instead of his shaving mirror. Jonathan’s shaky phone-cam recording of the Count lizard-walking down the castle wall, Jonathan whisper-yelling ‘DO YOU SEE THIS??? ARE YOU SEEING THIS?????’ to what he hopes is some future audience, but may only be his future, doubting self. Jonathan’s phone dropping through his fingers, the camera still recording, catching only the moonlit edges of dust motes swirling into filmy white robes, the whispering of the wind turning into women’s voices, and somewhere offscreen, the wails of an infant.
Lucy’s Skype sessions with Mina, growing fewer and farther between. Lucy growing paler with each session. The connection from Romania is terrible, but that can’t completely account for how white, how worried her pixelated face appears.
Jack Seward’s vlog (about two views for each video, one of which is always Lucy).
Arthur on MTV’s Cribs.
Quincey’s Survivorman-style reality show.
Black and white footage from all the past ages of film when Van Helsing is explaining the Count’s history.
Aww, Jack…
Ros: For the next 72 hours, we're going to live off whatever nature sends our way. See that stream? That's our drinking water. See those berries? That's our breakfast.
Holland: See that skeleton? That's our future.
